9 Questions to Test Your Relationship's Toughness

Let's be honest, relationships aren't always sunshine and rainbows. Life throws curveballs, and sometimes, those curveballs land right in the middle of your love life. So, how do you know if your bond can weather the storms? Enter Sarah Epstein, LMFT, and her 9 insightful questions. These aren't your run-of-the-mill relationship quizzes. We're diving deep, folks. Grab your partner, a cozy beverage, and let's get started!

Question 1: How Does Our Relationship Feel to You?

This isn't about the logical "We've been dating for X months/years." It's about the gut feeling. Does your relationship feel like a warm hug, a thrilling adventure, or something else entirely?

Example: "When I think about us, it feels like coming home after a long day – comfortable and safe."

Question 2: How Do Our Phone Calls Feel to You?

Do you dread the ring or light up when you see their name? Are your calls filled with laughter or strained silences? Phone calls offer a unique window into your connection.

Example: "I love our random check-ins during the day. It's like a little dose of sunshine."

Question 3: What Do You Most Enjoy Doing Together?

Do you have shared passions? Activities that make time fly by? Identifying these can be your relationship's superpower during tough times.

Example: "Honestly, even grocery shopping is fun when we're together. We always end up laughing at something silly."

Question 4: What are Your Least Favorite Parts of Our Relationship?

No relationship is perfect. Being honest about the not-so-great stuff is key to growth.

Example: "Sometimes, I wish we were more spontaneous. We get stuck in a rut."

Question 5: How Do You Best Like to Chat and Catch Up?

Are you a long phone call person, a quick text fiend, or do you prefer in-person heart-to-hearts? Understanding your communication styles can prevent misunderstandings.

Example: "I love our morning in bed-before-the-kids-get-up chats before work. It sets the tone for the day."

Question 6: Do You Feel Supported? Judged?

This is a biggie. Feeling supported is essential, but so is feeling safe enough to be vulnerable.

Example: "I know I can tell you anything without you judging me. That means everything to me."

Question 7: If You Could Change One Thing in Our Relationship, What Would It Be?

This question isn't about dwelling on negatives. It's about identifying areas for growth together.

Example: "I wish we made more time for date nights. Life gets busy, and we need to prioritize us."

Question 8: Are There Any Past Hurts That Need Addressing?

Lingering resentment can poison a relationship. Addressing past hurts in a healthy way can lead to deeper intimacy.

Example: "Remember that fight we had about...? I still feel hurt about it sometimes."

Question 9: How Do You Hope to See Our Relationship Change?

This is your chance to dream together. What does your ideal relationship look like?

Example: "I am looking forward to strengthening our bond, and managing conflict better."

The Takeaways

These questions are sparks igniting understanding and connection. Through these discussions, we are not merely scratching the surface but diving into the depths of unexplored and unexpressed thoughts and feelings from our partners. The fear of what we might find handcuffs us and puts us in the back of the cop car of avoidance.

However, within these mysterious waters lie the hidden treasures of intimacy waiting to be discovered. It is in this dance of emotions and revelations that the bond between our partners and ourselves transforms into an unbreakable chain, capable of withstanding the tempests of life.

Embracing and confronting challenging questions make us relationship blacksmiths. It is in the heat of discomfort and the hammer of honesty that we shape the raw metal of our relationships into a finely honed blade, ready to cut through the barriers that stand in the way of true intimacy and growth.

These 9 questions aren't about passing or failing. They're about deepening our understanding of each other, and building a relationship that can withstand any storm. Remember, it's not about being perfect, it's about being brave. Brave enough to ask & answer the difficult questions.